Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Hundredth Monkey

I am sitting here, doing work for my friend's 15-minute fame and potential big break. Your success is measured by the number of people you made successful, I tell myself as an excuse for taking my attention off doing my own work.

My body is ravaged with strong and very unpleasant emotions. Mostly anxiety, doom, and grief.

I muscle test myself every five minutes if the feelings are mine. They are. I take my Heaven on Earth and continue working, but the bad feelings come back and take my breath away.

I catch myself wondering what it all means. Shall I stop doing the help to my friend? Shall I just run the other way? I muscle test it, and the test says "no."

I am researching the show: it is the second most viewed show in the United States ((haven't check the accuracy of this statement)). I have never seen the show: I don't have a television, and I am not interested.

But at least five million viewers are.

What is the dynamic? They want to find out about everything, they

the hundredth monkey

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